Friday, January 20, 2006

a lyric that struck me

From "Television" (from the Television EP) by Bertie Blackman:

I watch TV just like everyone
And you read magazines like everyone
And truth seems to be defined in every pop song
And love, I know it hurts you
And sure, it hurts me too.

Sums up my life really!

Friday, January 13, 2006

sometimes it's just easier to laugh...

From the SMH (in article about Brokeback Mountain not screening in far north Queensland):

Federal MP Bob Katter, whose Kennedy electorate in north Queensland takes in industries such as sugar cane, cattle, sheep and dairy farming, was unconcerned.
"Maybe there are some (gay cowboys) out there but I've never heard of 'em," he said.
"I mean, it's not a profession that attracts those sort of people."

Really, what else can you do but have a chuckle?

And by the way, why has not one single article mentioned Heath Ledger's previous gay role, as Snowy the cyclist in the short-lived TV drama Sweat (set at the Australian institute of Sport). I used to watch it semi-religiously (to almost quote Ghost World). Snowy was HOT.

After rewatching 10 Things I Hate About You (which is good, almost Clueless good) I've decided I like my Heath blonde. Just like Snowy.

In unrelated news, I just got season 3 of The Golden Girls. There are gonna be some late nights in my house.

Monday, January 09, 2006

an open letter to peter jackson

Dear Mr Jackson,

I write to you as a long time admirer of your work who has just had the mind numbing experience of sitting through all 188 minutes (well, 185 of them, I took a bathroom break) of King Kong.

I must humbly request that you return to me no less than 100 of those aforementioned minutes.

Allow me to assure you that I am not a person who could be accused of not appreciating your vision as a director. Meet the Feebles is my favourite film, and Heavenly Creatures is a film I believe deserved to be showered in awards. I also felt that your early shlock horror was marvellous.

Whilst I can't honestly pretend I am a huge LOTR fan, I can appreciate your artistry and skill there. So few fantasy fans could find anything negative to say - quite an achievement in and of itself.

Clearly, those films could justifably run for three hours plus each, but it does seem as though you've developed a belief that this is a normal running length, rather than an exception which should be carefully employed when absolutely necessary.

King Kong is proof positive of this principle.

Did it need such a lengthy introduction? No. The multiple dinosaur stampede fights (each of which was at leats twice as long as it needed to be)? No. The pointless subplots with the characters no-one gave a shit about (with their somewhat cloyingly unrealistic inter-racial subtexts). No.

Basically, you could have gotten the film down to two hours and not left much out. Thirty minutes to get to the island. Forty on the island and Fifty in New York (the last third of the film being admittedly rather decent). You could have kept - and indeed better highlighted - the relationship between woman and ape and still used all your favourite SFX (which weren't that crash hot frankly - I thought ten years from Jurassic Park things might have improved a tad more) and still had a bit of social commentary about depression era America etc etc but I wouldn't have been left with a numb arse and a distinct feeling that maybe I missed out on something that really mattered in that time.

I think King Kong also needed some script revision and better blue screen usage, but it really might have been a good film regardless if it hadn't chewed up so much more of my life than it should have.

My time is worth at least $30AU an hour. Since we are old friends (I know all the words to 'Sodomy' from Meet the Feebles and have done more to promote your early work than anyone not actually on the payroll for them), I will charge you my discounted rate of $20AU/hr for one and a half hours (less than the 100 mins previous mentioned).

As such, I feel you should pay me the amount of $30AU at your earliest convenience.

I wish you all the best for the future and volunteer my editing assistance (at the above discounted rate even) with your next motion picture endeavour.

Yours sincerely,

Weasel

Sunday, January 08, 2006

the song of summer

A real post! I've got a few in my head and 'Weasel' might be returning to the print world soon, so here's hoping this blog will get back on track for this glorious new year.

So I finally heard Madonna's 'Hung Up' in a club context the other night. Yes, I know, I've been a homebody. It wasn't actually the first time, but it was the first time I really soaked it in.

It was a lone spot of glorious pop kitsch in a sea of pedestrian (OK, that's a tad harsh, let's go with good-but-not-life-changing) electro and house. Hands were promptly raised in the air. Booty was shaking like the owners of it just didn't care. People were being silly again.

'Hung Up' has of course been Madge's biggest hit in ages. It topped the charts here, and would still be in the top 3 I'd say if our charts incorporated digital paid downloads like the US and UKcharts (since the song hasn't really left the top 2 spots on Itunes since its release) - ARIA: when is this going to be rectified??

In the US, where the charts are heavily dominated by airplay (and thus by R'n'B and Adult Contemporary, in that order), 'Hung Up' made number 7 - quite a feat for what, in US terms is very much a dance single. In the UK, it is back at number 2, rebounding on the strength of all those peeps who got itunes gift cards for Xmas.

But charts be damned. The song is lighting up the clubs. It's the perfect addition to what a friend an I already agreed is 2006's must have accessory: FUN. 'Hung Up' sets the tone for a year that will be infinitely better than the one that preceded it.

I admit I'm behind the times here. Somehow I wanted more than a ABBA-tinged dance ditty with some slightly questionable lyrics (when does self-referencing stop being pomo and start being tired??) from the much hyped Madonna comeback album. I wanted Confessions On a Dance Floor to be, well, confessional.

Sure, as academic commentator (now published - email me if you know me and want the online journal link) on Madonna, I've been enjoying her reinvestment in the 'take me to the centre of everything' (my honours thesis title - what Madge supposedly said to a taxi driver upon arriving in NY as a fresh faced dance student with big dreams) mythology of her early years, but I wanted this album to be Ray of Light esque, not just a better version of American Life or Music.

But Madonna (and let's not forget a certain Mr Stuart Price, the man who The Guardian said "made the Scissor Sisters sound even more gay, a remarkable feat"*) knew better. A cynic might say she saw Gwen Stefani kicking arse with some 80s inspired grooves and said 'me too', and, yes, I am that cynic. But on the other hand, she did what she did best and tapped into the zeitgeist.

There are other songs I like better on COAD, in theory at least, but 'Hung Up' is truly its knockout punch. As long as you can make a knockout punch in a sequinned glove, anyway.

*http://www.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,16373,1639153,00.html (someone teach me how to do links properly, OK??)