Late Night Intellectuals

For those who aren't regularly up and watching television after midnight, it might be news that every commercial network now airs a late night quiz show where people make expensive phonecalls to get an opportunity to answer lame questions and win amounts of money between $50 and $1000 odd.

It all started with Big Brother Up Late, which needed something for people to watch when housemates were asleep. This then became The Up Late Gameshow with Simon "Hotdogs" Deering (BB05 housemate - the one who got busted getting a blowjob in public).

The other networks were slow to respond to this money grabbing manipulation of a ratings-irrelevant viewing period, but since the end of this year's Big Brother Up Late (which presumably dominates the ratings at that hour), they have introduced Quizmania (on Nein) and Midnight Zoo (Seven).

Anyway, I don't need to go into detail about how bad they are, especially since someone else has already done it, but I thought I'd share a special moment from Quizmania.

The challenge was to come up with words that go with the word 'High' to form a composite word, or phrase.

"So what's your answer?" asks the host.

"Um... is it Hygiene?"

And yet people are petitioning to get these shows off air. For shame!

Thought for the day

From an MSN Messenger chat:

[Anon friend] says:
I prefer Madonna, but admire Kylie so much following her cancer stuff etc...

[Me] says:
Meh. She got sick, how is that an achievement? Madonna got crucified and you don't hear her complaining.

Which is worse...

The fact that I'm obsessively listening to a duo of teenage girls who are not only Christians but were home schooled and don't believe in evolution?

Or that I got into them because they have a song featured in the Bratz Rock Angelz video game that I've been humming all week?

Dead heat I reckon.

Another travesty

Besides a few tribute albums and the inevitable dance versions, most of Madonna's back catalogue remains relatively 'uncovered'. Teenage fanclub did a cool version of 'Like a Virgin' and there was of course Kelly Osbourne's version of 'Papa Don't Preach' (which, to be honest, I didn't think was all that awful).

Still, a high profile cover of a Madonna song was inevitable. The film Material Girls starring the sisters Duff has been touted for ages now, as has the version of 'Material Girl' that would be its theme song. Apparently it is no longer to be a single, however, and just as well.

The weirdest part of this crime against faggotry is that the song is produced by Timbaland. What the fuck was he thinking slapping a cheesy beat left over from Brandy's last album to vocals that the sisters seemingly phoned in while at the manicurist?

It will come as no surprise that this version lacks any of the sluttish charm of the original, but the fact that it has even less sass than the Tamperer's deliberately deadpan interpolation of the song on 'If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better' is really rather remarkable.

Overheard at the Midnight Shift...

Firstly, this is the only pic I could find of David and Sherif online, so don't mind the lame 'marry me' bit, OK?

I was but metres away from these men last night at the Midnight Shift nightclub and overheard Sherif say to David:

"It would be so much easier if you spoke any French or Arabic..."

Trouble in paradise?

'Pop Life' August

Here are the bits from my latest 'Pop Life' Column that aren't already plagiarised from this blog:

Of course Darren’s man could have made things easier if he’d married the other ‘new’ recruit to the ranks of openly homo celebrities, former Justin Timberlake back up singer (I mean, N’Sync member) Lance Bass. Then they could Dick and Lance. From what I hear on the grapevine, poor old Lance could use a nicer boyfriend. Rumours abound that his current bit of fluff, Amazing Race winner Reichen, is using him for his money after putting most of his TV winnings up his nose. And Reichen apparently believes in neither trust nor monogamy. No wonder Lance wants to be an astronaut, it must be terrible dating people who are just hoping for a chance to meet Justin.

Still if doesn’t work out, perhaps we can look forward to a TV special Lance is Getting Married… or should that be Lance is Getting Committed? I’m sure David from Big Brother’s boyfriend will be single by then and looking for his next chance to jump on the fame bandwagon. How embarrassing was their emotional reunion after their whole four weeks of being in love? And they met at Mardi Gras, so presumably they spent a chunk of that time either high or coming down.

Now, did I mention Jessica Simpson? No? Well, besides having a new album with a title that George Michael must be envious of, she’s recorded a cover of a camp classic on her new album. Track two on A Public Affair is a version of Dead or Alive’s ‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)’, and it is a travesty of Jamie-winning-Big-Brother proportions. Pete Burns would be spinning in his grave if he was dead and not just a freaky plastic-surgery-gone wrong mess.

Still at least Jess is trying to be respectful to her pop elders. Ripping off ‘Holiday’ on her current single is by no means as big an insult to Madonna as that managed by British starlet Lily Allen, who has dubbed Madge “the most over-rated person in pop history. She told magazine: "I haven't got anything against her at all but I don't think anything she's done since the early Eighties has really been, like, 'wow'. She might have meant something once but I don't know many people my age who care."

Ouch. Ever hear of ‘Ray of Light’ Lily? Methinks it will outlast ‘Smile’ in the hearts of the masses. At least ‘Smile’ is an enjoyable enough ditty the first eighteen or so times though, something which can’t be said for the solo debut of Black Eyed Pease singer Fergie. ‘London Bridge’, a recording so painful as to make me re-evaluate the relative awfulness of Bec Cartwright’s singing ‘career’.

Superstar indeed

The great pop music just keeps coming.

Go here and click the link to hear Jamelia's great new single.